Today didn't start like most days. I slept in until noon. Who does that anymore, the world is so fastpaced who has time to sleep in anymore? Well apparently I do and I guess after the weekend i've had my body, mind, and spirit needed the extra couple of hours.
My weekend was full of tough love, spider bites, allergies, my husband working all weekend, supper, laundry and getting ready for Monday again.
So lets start with the tough love because I already blogged about the spider bite, which by the way is all healed up, unlike my emotions. So "Toughlove" the term usually means to teach your children a lesson and although you still love them with all your heart and soul, it's time they grow up!!!!
When I was a young teenage mother I relied on my parents alot, so much that I never budgeted because why bother they would buy me and my children what ever we needed anyways RIGHT??? well I was WRONG!!!! oh they never let their grandchildren starve don't get me wrong, they just made me buget and gave me a good scare. You see I probably went one day freaking out over how on earth do I provide for myself. They eventually felt bad enough that they rescued me. Notice I wrote "MYSELF" ?? yah because when I was 19 with 2 babies at home I still thought of myself. Boy have I grown up since then. It somehow became more about the children than myself. Now I have almost completely lost myself that I gave up my job, my house, my friends, to move an hour and a half away to support my OLDEST children in their life journeys. WHY you may ask?? because I wasnt ready to let go yet, what if something happened to them and I wasn't there? OMG I hate the thought.
Well things have been going from to great to good to not bad to bad to WORSE.
We had a big blow out with our 21 and soon to be 20 yr old that we moved out of THEIR place and into our own.
Well if you have been keeping up with my blogs you would have notice in the beginning I wrote that we live with our 2 oldest daughters. Well that isn't the case after the weekend.
Now I don't condone disrespecting one's parent. NO NO No thats a No No. But I do take some responsibility here, I did not allow them to move on their own and test the water like my parents did to me right from the start. They didn't ask me to move with them, or move in with them, I just did.
Now we aren't speaking. So I am lonely, hurt by things that were said, upset that the "other" absent parent thought He had to be involved some how, and a tiny bit relieved. How can I possibly be relieved? Because its been stressful and busy and tiresome looking after children that in age are clearly ADULTS!!!! and its time I let go and let them fly on their own.
It's not like I am hours away, I am blocks away, more like 30 blocks away.
As for my husband being at work all weekend, well I needed the emotional support. I do however, still have 2 teenagers and 1 preteen living at gome with me so they have not all flown the nest yet. I guess I always thought they would live at home with me but nope thats not the case, they grow up and move out.
Gnite and Happy Reading
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Monday, May 6, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Spider Bite
Yay its the weekend, its Saturday after noon, the weather is beautiful and I am stuck in bed. Unfortunately, Friday morning I awoke with a terrible spider bite on my ankle. Saturday morning my ankle was so swelled I could barely walk on it :( , I am hoping it is the first and last one this season. I googled "spider bites" and I read to keep it elevated, not to use it so much and to put an ice pack, so thats what I am doing. It seems to be working for me but, i'm not a Dr. so don't take my word for it or my advice
Over the years our large family has had to endure the spider bites, but no one as bad as my husband or 2 of our children. My husband had a terrible bite on his face, he stayed home from work for 3 days, he went to the Dr. and behold he was having an allergic reaction. My daughter (15 at the time), had a bite on her elbow that was infected, she couldn't move her arm so she too had to see the Dr., my stepson (15 at the time) had a bite on his knee, well it was summer so that was a terrible time as he could barely walk.
It is only the beginning of spring and summer so let's hope this is that last of the insect bites. Oh and I forgot to mention the mosquitos are so bad here it's prob only the first of millions of bites. YAY SUMMER
Over the years our large family has had to endure the spider bites, but no one as bad as my husband or 2 of our children. My husband had a terrible bite on his face, he stayed home from work for 3 days, he went to the Dr. and behold he was having an allergic reaction. My daughter (15 at the time), had a bite on her elbow that was infected, she couldn't move her arm so she too had to see the Dr., my stepson (15 at the time) had a bite on his knee, well it was summer so that was a terrible time as he could barely walk.
It is only the beginning of spring and summer so let's hope this is that last of the insect bites. Oh and I forgot to mention the mosquitos are so bad here it's prob only the first of millions of bites. YAY SUMMER
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Life is too REAL sometimes
Today was a day full of arguments and disagreement with the kids, walking around on eggshells around the kids, wondering whose going to blow a gasket yet, and wanting to just say "take number or get in line".
Is it the spring weather? the loooong winter we've had? I just don't know. All day I felt like I did something wrong, like I was the one that got out of bed on the wrong side.
Then I finally had a moment to myself tonight and thought "this too will pass", tomorrows another day. I remembered all the terrible two's i've gone through, all the tantrums and "I hate you mom"'s that i've endoured over years. To some parents who are just experiencing the terrible two's or temper tantrums just a word of warning, there is a terrible 16, a terrible 18 and sometimes even a terrible 21, not in all kids but in some, and there is light at the end of the tunnel and in my case its a late honeymoon destination called VEGAS. My husband took me there about 5 years ago and when I have days like this I like to go back to my memories of being kid free for 3 days.
Everyone is fast asleep or soon to be fast asleep and tomorrow is indeed another day, the sun will be shining and my terrible 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 19, 21, and 22 year olds will once again be the beautiful, well mannered, respectful children that I know they are, and just like when they were all only "2" this will all be a memory (that I blocked out.)
Gnite and Happy Reading :)
Is it the spring weather? the loooong winter we've had? I just don't know. All day I felt like I did something wrong, like I was the one that got out of bed on the wrong side.
Then I finally had a moment to myself tonight and thought "this too will pass", tomorrows another day. I remembered all the terrible two's i've gone through, all the tantrums and "I hate you mom"'s that i've endoured over years. To some parents who are just experiencing the terrible two's or temper tantrums just a word of warning, there is a terrible 16, a terrible 18 and sometimes even a terrible 21, not in all kids but in some, and there is light at the end of the tunnel and in my case its a late honeymoon destination called VEGAS. My husband took me there about 5 years ago and when I have days like this I like to go back to my memories of being kid free for 3 days.
Everyone is fast asleep or soon to be fast asleep and tomorrow is indeed another day, the sun will be shining and my terrible 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 19, 21, and 22 year olds will once again be the beautiful, well mannered, respectful children that I know they are, and just like when they were all only "2" this will all be a memory (that I blocked out.)
Gnite and Happy Reading :)
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Mom!!! The lights green!!!
Driving home, after driving nearly 2 hours straight this afternoon, I stopped at a red light. I clearly saw that the light had turned to green. My children started telling me from the back seat "Mom its GREEN". In my head I said "I know!!!!" I clenched the steering wheel and said "I am turning and I have to wait for the cars to go by so I can turn". All I heard from the back seat was "OH".
When my oldest son, now 22, was only 5 he came home from school almost preaching about all the germs in the house. 1 thing particular was about how to thaw meat. He said " Mom thaw the meat in the fridge" in my mind I thought "well we haven't poisoned yet" but my response was "I Know", so I thawed te meat in the fridge (sometimes).
When our oldest daughter was 17, now 21, she came home after curfew, she was a bit tipsy, she tried to sneak into bed, well if your a parent with any age kids we have the ears of an elephant. I can hear the slightest conversation from way across the house. In the morning we talked and she said " I got home early and went to bed". I said " No you didn't, I was awake and I heard you get home...I KNOW these things".
When my daughters car broke down. she's now 19, we insisted she needed a new battery. She insisted she didn't, she said " I just need gas", Well she got a new battery and the car started right away. We gave her the "We Knew!!!" look.
Over the past 20 years I've had so many " I KNOW" moments, some surprised even me. I've also had so many " Hmmmm I did not know that" moments. I say 20 yrs because i'll admit the first couple of years of motherhood were full of "I dont know anything" moments.
I was 17 when I had my first child, I lived with my parents until I turned 18 and moved out on my own. I was 19 when I had my oldest daughter, after that I lost count of my age, and the only thing that mattered was my children and their ages thoe things I KNOW!!! ask me how much they weighed at birth or the time of birth and my answer will be I DONT KNOW, but I do know their exact where abouts, their friends, PIN # to all their bank accounts, health card numbers, birthdates, teachers names, cell phone numbers, FB passwords and so on and tell me you say one of my kids posting something inappropriate on their FB wall and i'll respond "I KNOW" its been dealt with already :)
With that Gnite :)
When my oldest son, now 22, was only 5 he came home from school almost preaching about all the germs in the house. 1 thing particular was about how to thaw meat. He said " Mom thaw the meat in the fridge" in my mind I thought "well we haven't poisoned yet" but my response was "I Know", so I thawed te meat in the fridge (sometimes).
When our oldest daughter was 17, now 21, she came home after curfew, she was a bit tipsy, she tried to sneak into bed, well if your a parent with any age kids we have the ears of an elephant. I can hear the slightest conversation from way across the house. In the morning we talked and she said " I got home early and went to bed". I said " No you didn't, I was awake and I heard you get home...I KNOW these things".
When my daughters car broke down. she's now 19, we insisted she needed a new battery. She insisted she didn't, she said " I just need gas", Well she got a new battery and the car started right away. We gave her the "We Knew!!!" look.
Over the past 20 years I've had so many " I KNOW" moments, some surprised even me. I've also had so many " Hmmmm I did not know that" moments. I say 20 yrs because i'll admit the first couple of years of motherhood were full of "I dont know anything" moments.
I was 17 when I had my first child, I lived with my parents until I turned 18 and moved out on my own. I was 19 when I had my oldest daughter, after that I lost count of my age, and the only thing that mattered was my children and their ages thoe things I KNOW!!! ask me how much they weighed at birth or the time of birth and my answer will be I DONT KNOW, but I do know their exact where abouts, their friends, PIN # to all their bank accounts, health card numbers, birthdates, teachers names, cell phone numbers, FB passwords and so on and tell me you say one of my kids posting something inappropriate on their FB wall and i'll respond "I KNOW" its been dealt with already :)
With that Gnite :)
I dug out my flip flips to early
I woke up to a snow storm at the end of April. I had to time everything just right. I knew the streets would be icy. Everyone was at least 10 minutes late. How did this happen I thought to myself. I timed everything just right. School lunches were made, van was warming up, sweaters were pulled out of the closet. I left at least 10 minutes earlier. Well, I hit every red light, I drove behind someone going slower than usual, I had 2 extra stops to make and I had to stop for gas.
Over the years I have had to put more than my share of kilometers on our vehicles.
When my husband and I started living together, we lived out of town on an acreage. Everyone had to wake up an hour earlier and we had to travel in all types of weather.
We have had to drive to 3 different school for different start times and different end times.
The joys of being blessed with so many children and trying to support them all with their education.
Tomorrow is another day and this time I have all my ducks in a row and everyone will be on time.
Goodnite
Over the years I have had to put more than my share of kilometers on our vehicles.
When my husband and I started living together, we lived out of town on an acreage. Everyone had to wake up an hour earlier and we had to travel in all types of weather.
We have had to drive to 3 different school for different start times and different end times.
The joys of being blessed with so many children and trying to support them all with their education.
Tomorrow is another day and this time I have all my ducks in a row and everyone will be on time.
Goodnite
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