3 Month Update

Well I have been back to work now for 3 months after a 12 month break! Holay Molay do I miss being a stay at home mom. I am on the go from 6:00 am until somedays 8:00 pm.

I work full time as a family support worker. I facilitate parenting groups as well as life skills groups to woman and men. It is a very rewarding job.I  am able to use my own life experience as well as education and work experience. 

So far I have missed the following : Basketball games, Hockey practice, Dance recitals, Parent Teacher Interviews, and thats just to name a few. Today however, I made it to the dentist appointment to hold my sons hand. 

Do I feel guilt? You bet I do. I remember being a single mom of 6 and having to constantly find a sitter and miss everything just to put food on the table.  After getting remarried I still had to find sitters and help put food on the table.

I now only have 3 children left at home the responsibilities are still the same but our grocery bill has gone down. 

Still no grandchildren to add to the family so my husband and I are talking about having a child of our own. 40 is not to old!

WHAT?? You don't need a ride to school anymore??

WOW!! Where did this month go already, 3 children back to school (at 2 different schools).  Driving and driving about 10 times daily.  Today my son comes home with a bus pass and tells me that he can now catch the bus daily and that I don't have to drive him anymore!!
After raising 10 children and 1 nephew and 1 friend of my daughters, I can't believe that it is our youngest (13) that came home today and told me this!
My oldest son (22) still required a ride to post-sec on a daily basis and not to mention to work, our daughter (20) is the only one who went out and bought herself a vehicle and drove herself to work and school.
I always walked the kids to school and walked to school to wait for them afterwards, I always made sure that they made it there and back safely, and now with this new BUS PASS I don't know how to handle it.
So starting tomorrow morning I will send his older sister and brother (14,18) to catch the bus with him, that will be my way of knowing he has made it safely.  I am lucky enough that the elementary school and high school are 2 blocks from each other and they can catch the same bus.
Letting go is tough especially when it's our youngest child that is trying to grow up and out of the nest, that's a hard thing to grasp.
On the positive note he is our youngest and in a way our job is almost done, don't get me wrong a parents job is never done, but in stages I believe that it is. In this case it is the constant driving back and forth to school and back.  So until we have grandchildren, gone are the days of walking our children to school.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees or Does It?

Having raised 8 children on my student allowance and both my spouse and I having full-time jobs has not been an easy task. I am seriously thinking that our children think we went to the back yard and pulled it out of the trees.

As I mentioned on my twitter it is not easy having children (18 and over) who are trying to make it on their own. If anything it is way more expensive than food and diapers. 

I honestly think they are wondering when the money tree is going to start growing in their backyards.

OK, 2 are in post secondary, trying to pay both their tuition fees and help them with their rent and buy groceries and gas for the other vehicle is like paying to maintain 2 households at once :(

I understand that post-sec is an investment, at least thats how I look at it, and I dont know if I will get a return on that investment anytime soon.

Finish school and get jobs and live on your own and live up life, I once told them, well they finished school and not only are they starving students we are starving parents.

Don't get me wrong I am super proud of all my children, very proud, I know it hasn't always been a smooth ride. The cards were stacked against them but they made it.

My husband is at work for the evening and I am back to my blog for the remainder of the summer :) just thought I would throw that in there.

Who else out there has money management stress while supporting their post sec student/children? or am I the only one who did not forsee this financial struggling future for myself???

June 2013 Blog Hop

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No Complaints Here

I had started to write a long blog that contained alot of complaints about my sister in laws, then I backspaced  the whole thing and started again, that was on Wednesday and now it is late Sunday night.  Oh nothing has changed I still feel the same way, I just decided no one wants to hear my complaints about HER.
So here I am looking for a new topic for this Sunday evening.  I am now at a loss for topics as I was so hell bent on it being about complaints.  I decided JUST NOW that I will focus on the fun and good times we had.
I first met one of my sister in laws 10 years ago, we did not hit it off well at first, she told me to stop flirting with her husband (my brother in law) I was doing no such thing.  From there our relationship stayed pretty much the same.  I would only see her for family functions and we would have small talk and go our different ways.  Well her and my brother in law also went their seperate ways on more than one occasion. I havent seen or heard from her for more than a couple of years now.  I wish her well and I hope that someday we'll be best of friends.
My other sister in law I met about 9 years ago, we rarely seen each other as we lived in different cities.  When we would go to visit we would chat about the kids and work and school and sports and relationships. I moved to the same city to finish school and we became closer (so I thought), my daughters would baby sit for them and we would do things together.  We had a great friendship (so I thought).  As the years went on we became closer and I supported her through the toughest times.  I lost my Dad a few years ago and she was no where to be found, or was busy living her life.  She lost a parent and I raced to her side.  When she celebrated her birthdays I drove the hour and a half to be with her, when I celebrated my big 40 she was no where to be found nor did I get a call.  That is when the friendship went downhill real fast.  I now avoid anything that might cause me to be in the same room with her.  I wish her well in her journey and hope everything works out well for her and my brother in law, as they have an on again off again marriage.
See no complaints here, I know everyone has in laws that they don't always get along with, and they are my husbands family.  I love my husband dearly and so I love my in laws too.  Just because we don't always get along does not mean I don't care for them anymore it just means we are different people and we get along better when we don't see or talk to each other.
I also have 2 other sister in laws that I didn't mention as we never had much of a relationship at all and I don't think I would even recognize them if I saw them any where and nor would they recognize me either.
Anywhooooo enough of that, I had a great couple of weeks since I last blogged, I have a few more followers on my twitter whixh is @thisisreally40 and I love reading and following them as well.
We are currently in the process of planning my cousins wedding and our summer vacations, I say vacationS because we have 2 planned.  I will soon blog my family vacation tips for large families. What worked and didnt work for me :)
Have a great evening and happy reading :)

Spring Cleaning my Handbag

Over the years I have had many a Handbag or Purse, my husband calls my latest purse "the blackhole" because things go into it and never come out. Sadly this is so true.
Today I decided to give it a quick cleaning, 1 small garbage bag later I was down to 1 green highlighter, 2 Pens, 3 Lighters, 1 cellphone case, 1 wallet, a clutch purse (yes I had another purse inside my purse), a container of gum, a memory stick, 1 pair of earings, a nail clippers, my husbands wallet, some spare change, my sons AXE under arm deodorant, my husbands cell phone, 2 individually wrapped cookies and a set of keys. I could not narrow it down any further.
I am a hoarder when it comes to my handbag. I am also a hoarder when it comes to handbags and purses. Do not get me started on clothes or shoes, some clothes I have had for 10 years and yes someday I will fit them again so its a must that I keep them, at least thats my logic.
It does feel like my handbag is alot lighter but I still can't find anything in it.
With that Good Night :) and tomorrow I go out looking for the new summer handbag :)

Happy Mothers Day

WOW!!! My oldest is 22 years old, and was the first one to send me a wonderful Mothers Day text message today, even though it was short it was truly sweet. I really made me feel needed and appreciated.  I say this because over the past few days I really did not feel like I was or did anything much in my childrens lives except give birth to them.
When I was 17 I delivered a 8lb baby boy, we grew together and matured together.  It was a couple years of first everything.  First steps, colds, flu's, cooking meals for more than just myself, changing diapers, loss of sleep, more than enough sleep and if your a Mother you know where I am going with this.  The first child is the one one where you learn everything that you will continue to add to and change a little with each and every child that comes next.
It has been 2 weeks since I spoke to my 2 oldest daughters.  Yes I am still hanging on to the tough love thing.  I am barely hanging on but hanging on none the less.  It has been difficult.  I had a good cry today about anything and everything.
I had a tremendous amount of support from my own mother and relatives.  My mom had a full time teaching job and still had the time to help me and my son.  I was clueless to everything  "parent" the first year.  How on earth did I manage to take care of myself.  Well 22 years later and we made it.  My son has been there for me in the toughest times and I hope I have returned the favour.
My other children I have had to  modified and update all my parenting techniques over the years to try and fit their needs.  With my 2 youngest sons I have even had to be more electronically smarter.  I know nothing about games and TV's and different kinds of cords or anything gamer.
Well thats it for today I am getting ready for the new season of Long Island Medium.  That show alwasy makes me teary.